The Age of Transition 

In June of 1984, I graduated from Percy L. Julian high school and in the fall of that same year to be exact in October a group by the name of Klymaxx released a hit single on their “Meeting in the Ladies Room” album by MCA records called “The Men All Pause.”

I remembered that particular song becoming so popular with so many of my peers back then. It took off like an anthem of liberation…free to be desired and wanted.

I felt confident beyond reason because everything about me (I thought) represented that I was looking good from head to toe wherever I went when I walked out of the door.

Everything was in order from the way I styled my hair, to my fierce make-up to the stylish clothes I wore and back then it was no wonder the men all paused when I walked into a room.     

The Whoa, whoa, whoa, became the norm because I was looking and feeling that good with the attitude to follow. At least that’s how the song went.

Fast forward 33 years later “The Men All Pause” anthem has been replaced with the reality of MENOPAUSE with a new attitude that includes signs and symptoms that made me feel like WHOA what is really going on with my body?

So what exactly is menopause and how long do we have to go through it?

I know …I know as women we all should know what menopause is and if you’re not experiencing it, you will and some form or fashion. So for the sake of this post, I’m about to give you a refresher course of our gift as women that we share.

Well, the short answer is menopause is the point at which a woman stops menstruating.

But what most people—including women going through menopause—mean when they use the term “menopause” is really perimenopause.

Now you may ask what is perimenopause.

Well, the short answer is perimenopause is the phase leading up to your final menstrual period.… perimenopause is the time from just before menopause until the diagnosis is made—when you’ve been 12 months without a period. This period of perimenopause and menopause is when women go through a number of changes, sometimes with annoying or troubling symptoms.

Like me and so many other women, I constantly asked myself why the heck do we have to go through this again. Short answer…

Because we are women!!!

I remember when I was younger I watched the older women in the church fan themselves with the church fan or whatever they could find to cool down. I thought I hope I never get like that. They seem so irritated, HOT, and frustrated.

Well…I’m that mature woman in church every Sunday fanning myself and I’m that woman that stands at the freezer with the door wide open taking in all of the cold breezes flowing from it.

One time my husband caught me pressing a bag of frozen peas all over my body and asked me was I going to cook them for dinner.

Seriously….I’m having a moment here!!

My poor husband must have I thought I was losing it until I told him what was going on with my mind and body.  

Now getting back to the basics menopause and perimenopause happen because as we get older our ovaries begin to shut down. Eventually, our ovaries stop producing estrogen and other hormones.

Our bodies have depended on these hormones for years (since puberty), so when the amount of hormones decreases, our body will react in ways that really get our attention. Just like the dreaded puberty—that other time in my life when my hormones were all over the place and I was breaking out like crazy.  I never thought I would be experiencing this crap all over again.

Menopause can be a time of emotional reactions and body changes.

I started perimenopause around 46 years old. For 4 years I didn’t have a period for 11 months and then the 12 months came and a streak of blood reared its ugly head and my dear gynecologist said, “Brenda we have to start all over” and wait for your body to reset itself.

Can you imagine how I felt? Sure you can you’re a woman. For 4 years I gave her the side-eye (as if she controlled my body) with looks of a lady if you don’t do something about this mess I will strangle you. Forgive me preacher wife went rogue for a minute…but that’s what perimenopause will do to you.  

Like clockwork when I turned fifty I officially started menopause with ALL of its glory and symptoms. Let’s talk about the gift that keeps on giving!

The Change of Life!

Now I know every woman experience menopause differently some of our symptoms are very common, some are less common and some are just downright serious!

But everything was changing and it was changing fast. It was like the movie “The Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” I didn’t recognize my figure when I walked past my mirror.  The weight gain came rapidly.

I Want My Body Back…NOW!!

Some of the symptoms of menopause include irritability, weight gain, breakouts, sadness, anxiety, discontented, and/or angry, lack of sleep, hot flashes, night sweats, stress, loss of memory, loss of hair vaginal dryness and having a lower sex drive. ⇒ ⇒ ⇒⇒ ⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒

This list seemed like it went on forever when my doctor was telling it to me. I wanted to shove that paper down her throat. The funny part about my experience with her she hugged me so tight when I was leaving and said I quote…

“Good luck Ms. Brenda, remember every woman is different!”

That’s all you have for me,” as that gave me any comfort.

I still love and adore my gynecologist and she has helped me tremendously in my first year of this new life I have been blessed with. 

Whether you are experiencing natural, induced, premature or early menopause collectively as women we share this gift. So we have to get our minds right in order to deal with this because it’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

Golden Divas we’re going to talk treatment, natural remedies, vitamins, how to manage menopause and hot flashes in another post so we can continue to live the golden life.

As for now ladies my best advice for you is to stay calm. I don’t want to put too much on you at one time.

Now tell me how did you feel when you first experience menopause?

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