What Do Men In Their 50s Want In a Woman?

Can We Talk?

Happy Wednesday Golden Divas!

Divas, Taraji P. Henson new movie “What Men Want?” is coming out this Friday, February 8th to a theater near you. The premise of the story is about a woman who is boxed out by the male sports agents in her profession but gains an unexpected edge over them when she develops the ability to hear men’s thoughts.

Now wouldn’t it be nice to hear what men are thinking? I mean to know how they view the dating game and their expectations of the woman they desire.

Yep! I agree too, and since we can’t read their minds like our girl Taraji, the next best thing to do is to talk to a Godly man who is dating with a purpose!

Over the past few days, I mentioned that I had a treat for you beautiful ladies and I am delivering it to you today. In regards to the title of my post, “What Do Men In Their 50s Want In a Woman?” Club Fifty has opened its doors to get a male perspective on the subject.

However, before we get to the juicy interview, I will like to break down some crucial factors in the male/female dating ratio. As reported by numerous publications, dating is out with young people and the hookup culture is in. No need to wine and dine a potential mate when you can swipe to the right. “WRONG!” At least in our generation. Just like for women some men are dating to marry, (yes there are some good men out there that are seeking to date to marry in their fifties too!)

Nonetheless, there is indeed a male shortage in the dating pool. Women outnumber men by varying percentages in 40 states, and Illinois my state is one of them. Men make up 49.1%, and women make up 50.9% of the population. Now, this may sound like a tiny percentage, but it is massive in the dating world.

Some other factors women in their 50s have to deal with are either; a man is unemployed, gay or imprisoned. As sad as this may sound, it is the cold-hearted truth. Along with those mundane factors women on the other side of 50 have to deal with the competition and phenomenon of older men dating younger women. Although this is nothing new and we see it all of the time, it can be a little disheartening with everything else we have to deal with in the dating pool.

Now as dismal as this may sound Golden Divas, some mature men who are taking their relationships seriously is also looking for romance, a loving partner they can be active with, and a woman with intelligence within their age group. They are seeking to find a woman who is honest and caring who they can also have a great time and laugh with which are some essential traits; no matter your gender and age.

I know ladies you’re probably wondering does a man like that even exist. They’re out there Divas and is willing to commit to a one on one relationship, and I’m about to introduce you to one.

I had the pleasure of meeting this ‘Distinguished Gentleman’ decades ago, and I have recently gotten reacquainted with him at my place of worship, New Faith Baptist Church International. This God-fearing man is a beacon in so many people lives, and his calming demeanor will warm your heart, and he is talking candidly and shining some light on this hot topic “What Do Men In Their 50s Want In A Woman?”

Let me introduce to some and reacquaint to others a man of faith, integrity, and valor, Mr. Jewel Thompson, Jr. but before I do, enjoy some Tevin Campbell – Can We Talk? 

JEWEL THOMPSON, JR.

Jewel Thompson Jr. is 53 years old, divorced, and a father of one beautiful daughter who is 30. Mr. Thompson has retired from the city of Chicago in 2015 he is a business owner, real estate investor, and developer. As well, as an Interior design consultant, and real estate management. Jewel hobbies include singing, traveling, movies, museums, concerts, reading, community involvement, horseback riding, fishing, boating, attending plays, drawing, studying finance, history, science, biblical studies. This man of God is a member of New Faith Baptist Church International as well as attaining membership in other organizations.

Dating with a purpose

My desire is to date for the sole purpose of being married! Having my eyes firmly fixed on serving God keeping Him first is foremost. I believe when the revelation of God reveals to a man to marry, it is because he has prepared himself to take on such responsibilities to receive his bride to be. He must prepare himself spiritually, mentally and physically (again if it is his desire to marry). He must understand that he has the ultimate responsibility of loving his wife as Christ loved the church and gave up his life for it, so does a husband for his wife. I believe that’s part of my preparation to be financially sound, creditworthy, physically healthy, and psychologically sound.

I believe that her husband is to give his wife any and everything that she desires. For it is He that has given me the revelation so therefore when I see her she may not notice me because her eyes are firmly fixed in serving God. I don’t believe that God gives the revelation to both at the same time but that He gives it to a man first. Well, she may receive the revelation immediately after because she is not seeking a husband. I believe in divine order. God, husband, wife, children and it is in this order that God has given the unique responsibility of each person in the family structure. A woman should not have reservations about following a Godly man who is committed to God.

Proverbs 18:22 says,

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.”

I believe that while being single, a man and woman should focus their attention on serving God. Not only as the man but the woman should be kept busy in ‘Kingdom Building’ as well as their personal lives. I believe in providing and that my wife would not want for anything. Whatever she wants or I think she wants she will be blessed to have. I believe that my wife should not have to work but only if she desires to do so. I will support her in everything that is productive. I am a man of detail, I implement it in my conversation, and I am a firm believer in open lines of communication.

In the Bible, the book of Deuteronomy 24; 5 states

“When a man has taken a new wife he shall not go to war, nor shall she be charged with any business but he shall be free at home one year and shall cheer up his wife whom he has taken.”

Can you imagine your husband not working for one year but when he wakes up every day his objective is to please you? That’s 365 days! Now because most men are not in a position to take off from work for a year it is recommended that you celebrate every month the date of your anniversary and her birthday!

I believe that everything I desire in a woman could and should be found in my wife any areas of weakness should be discussed and resolved. Ultimately my goal is to be the best husband that I am created to be and the testimony of my wife is that she would marry me every day!

I am to love her as CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH…… this is my DESIRE, this is my PURPOSE for DATING!

IN CONVERSATION WITH JEWEL THOMPSON JR

C50: As a man in your 50s are you attracted to women in the same age category, younger women or does age matter?

JT: Age is not a major factor, as a mature man in my 50’s I am attracted to the essence of a woman, her spirituality, intelligence, maturity, compassion, and attitude. I’ve met beautiful young ladies in their 20s 30s and 40s who had a beautiful outlook on life, in the same manner, I have met women in their 50s 60s and 70s who later reveal themselves as silly, immature, bitter, angry, irresponsible, lazy and self-centered. Therefore my attraction is not predicated by your age nor does it capture my attention. The question is, do you have the ability to hold my interest? I don’t judge the book by the cover I evaluate the content of the pages.

C50: What is the biggest misconception that women may have of the mature man dating younger women?

JT: Some of the biggest misconceptions that women have about mature men dating younger women are the following:

He wants to shape mold and control her to his desires.
He can’t handle nor is he willing to deal with a mature woman.
He desires to have a trophy to display in public.
It’s far less drama because she has not been exposed to the harsh realities of life including other men.
He desires to experience a wild sexual escapade by enjoying some of the exciting, mind-blowing experiences that in many cases a woman his age and older can no longer nor desire to perform.

C50: Are men in their 50s dating to marry or are they just dating?

JT: There is a large segment of men who are dating for the sole purpose of marrying these men desire to spend the rest of their lives with someone who will love, care respect and honor them and sharing and giving his all and all too. Men must be selective, and although it is a choice, it is very easy to develop a reputation of being a womanizer. The truth is when he moves on, desiring to have another relationship (months or years later), very seldom does he receive support from the church after a relationship has ended.

However, when a woman is in a relationship, and later the relationship comes to an end, the church embraces her, supports her has compassion for her, prays for her, and in many cases even when she destroyed the relationship. Men are often silent in the church regarding their emotions, and their voices are not heard; however, the flipside they are “upmen“ who desire to just date and mate, no interest in a full commitment, and they are usually self-centered and egotistical.

I am always amazed that women who know a man is not interested in marrying them but somehow believe that they can persuade him to marry them. A man being open and honest having no desire to commit on that level some women tend to turn a death ear to his declaration. Then they wonder why they are taking so long to wed.

“Sisters stop hearing what you want to hear and having selective hearing. Women want to change a man and a man is afraid that a woman will change.”

C50: As a man who knows what they want in their 50s are you willing to ignore some character flaws to stay in the relationship?

JT: Am I willing to accept a relationship with her character flaws, yes depending upon what the flaws are and to what degree. Even though I believe in unconditional love and that we are all under construction being mature you have to determine whether or not a person should be in a relationship at that appointed time.

As one who believes that you can overcome every situation and circumstance if you keep Christ at the center of your relationship it still does not negate the fact that it may not be the appropriate time to be engaged in a relationship. Sometimes you need that healing, deliverance, and transformation just you and God alone that He may prepare you to be suitable to have a wholesome relationship.

“To Thy Own Self Be True. “

C50: Is it necessary to you that a woman respects your time and space, and has a productive life of her own that you can be a part of?

JT: While it is necessary for a woman to respect my time and space it is imperative that she has a productive lifestyle that she is willing to share with me. Being independent can be very dangerous in a relationship I have experienced women who were too independent not needing a man not willing to share not willing to allow the man to date her romantically. She doesn’t make room to receive from him because she is in fear of losing control of her situation.

Men have started to realize the importance of family, and they have put their suitcases down and re-prioritized their lives. The problem is women have picked up those suitcases and now put their jobs in front of their families, only concerning themselves with being successful in the workplace and their personal lives. However, many time this at the expense of family, friends and ultimately a slow death to themselves.

C50: What type of woman are you attracted to now that you are older versus when you were younger?

JT: The type of woman that I am attracted to now opposed to the woman of my younger years is more compassionate, loving, spiritual, etc. my strongest desire is to have a virtuous woman yes a ‘PROVERBS WOMAN’ for she sets the standard of a woman. In my younger years, I was more intrigued by the physical attributes, good conversation, and the strong desire for the physical, imagery and just being a good person. Being young I was more willing to take a greater risk, but now the investment must be worth the endeavor … she must possess great potential…NO EXCEPTIONS!

C50: What is the number one thing that a woman in her 50s must possess to date you?

JT: The number one great thing that she must possess is her passionate love for God. She must be hungry to seek after him staying focused with her eyes firmly fixed on God. My concerns will not be how she would treat me because of her love for God. When I see her, she may not notice me because she is focused. She’s not distracted she’s not rude SHE’S NOT FAKING …SHE’S FOCUSED!

C50: Do men in their 50s value an honest, independent woman who isn’t afraid to speak their mind?

JT: The mature man in his 50s value an honest independent woman; again she is a proverbs woman she cares for the things of the world, she cares for her household, she knows how to invest, and she has a giving heart. She has her priorities in order and has prepared to receive her man (if she desires one). However, being TOO INDEPENDENT can be a complete turnoff even to the most mature man who is very confident. Being too independent can block your blessings in many ways not allowing the man to present to you his very best. You can contaminate your motives, and in many cases, you become a self- righteous egotistical woman with a false elevated sense of importance! BE INDEPENDENT BUT BE HUMBLE.

C50: Is it important to you that the woman you are dating accept where you are in this stage of your life?

JT: At this stage in my life it is imperative that a woman I am dating accept and understand where I am but more importantly where I am going. I believe that everyone especially a man should have a lifetime ‘GOAL LIST‘ and a ‘VISION STATEMENT.’ When I meet a lady if our relationship has great potential I will share my goals and objectives but especially my vision statement.

A woman should know that the man of interest has a goal in mind but first informal he should be seeking hard after God and that is a daily journey and it should be implemented on his list.

It is important that a woman understands that I may not be there now, but I am determined to conquer my dreams. She should have an open mind and not easily dismiss me nor disrespect my dreams. I expect her to support me fully, being understanding of my journey, and willing to do everything in her power to help me along the way because she believes in me. A woman who is ‘NOT’ willing to SUPPORT and  RESPECT me and is quick to DISMISS my lifetime goals and visions is a woman that I will immediately DISMISS from my life.

C50: Does having a sense of humor play a big part in finding the right mate?

JT: While it is important for a woman to have a sense of humor in finding the right mate I believe that laughter is good for the soul, the best stress reliever, and I love a beautiful smile. However, it is more important that she is not a silly woman who does not take life serious always joking. Men do not want a LOUD MOUTH, FLIP MOUTH, ora SHARP TONGUE woman that always have to joke about every issue especially the matters that you that you feel are important.

Bonus Question 

C50: In your 20s, 30s and possibly 40s sex is high on the radar for men, is it still high on the list in your 50s or can other attributes suffice?

JT: A man who is in his 20s, 30s, and 40s sex is indeed high on the radar for them. However, men in their 50s even though sex is important are more open to being creative in other aspects of being pleased by a woman. You would find men wanting to experience things at a much slower meaningful pace, cuddling and caressing, sensitivity enhancement, visually stimulated and having a desire for a more meaningful relationship with deep communication.

C50: There you have it Golden Divas, Club Fifty “FIRST” and “NOT THE LAST” male perspective on dating, thank you, Jewel, for your honesty and transparency regarding this ‘HOT TOPIC’ with many women in their 50s, seeking to date a Godly man!!