So What Is The Answer?

What I find most interesting at this point is the whole dating scene, although I have been out of the dating game for 25 years (whew…that is half of my life) I hear that the playing field is different for men and women and the rules have definitely changed. 

My girlfriends that are single constantly tell me that dating in their fifties is intense out there, the menu options are plentiful, but for the aging woman (as they so often see us) is kind of non-existent.

Whether you have been married and now you’re divorced or you never been married and you’re happily single trying to get back out there. Long are the days of meeting a good guy from a friend or at work. Nowadays online dating has become the norm, but can you really trust it.

So What Is The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50?

According to Coach Lisa Copeland, there is a formula that can help my “Golden Divas” in the pursuit of happily dating and it involves …    

8 Things Every Woman Should Know About Men Over 50

1. Appreciate a man for who he is.

Men are wonderful but they aren’t women. They don’t think like women nor do they communicate like women. So don’t expect a man to act like a woman or you’re guaranteed to be disappointed.

2. Men over 50 are very masculine and they love when you bring this trait out in them.

Men have no interest in competing with you and that’s exactly what they see it as when you approach them as an Alpha Female. For a man, this is like dating another man and he isn’t interested in dating men. The key is learning to come into your true feminine power … one that compliments a man’s masculine power. When you do, he’ll jump through hoops to make you happy.

3. Men show you love with their actions.

Hollywood has messed with our heads on this one. On the big screen, they show us men like Tom Cruise’s character in the movie, Jerry McGuire. Think back to when he professed his love with the romantic words, “You complete me.”

Real men show you their love by cutting your grass and giving you their coats when you’re cold. If you expect love to come in words … you could be waiting for a very long time.

4. Men want to give to you.

Let them open the door for you or change that light bulb you can’t reach. It makes them happy to please you. All they want in return is to be appreciated and thanked. If you do this, they’ll do anything you want, which leads us to number five.

5. Don’t criticize the job a man is doing for you.

He’s doing his best and, yes, you may be able to do it better or faster than he can but don’t. It makes him feel emasculated. If he has offered to do something for you, allow him to do it his way. Otherwise, the next time you ask for help, he’ll tell you to hire a handyman. He doesn’t want the aggravation of not being able to do anything right for you.

6. When you’re dating a man over 50, don’t place demands on how he must be or what he has to do in order to date you.

Men tell me again and again how much they dislike profiles of women who demand nothing less than the best restaurants or certain salaries to date them. Men have had enough demands put on them at work and from their ex’s. The last thing they want to do is meet yours before you’ve ever met.

7. Don’t try and remodel a man by making him your pet project.

Either accept him for who he is or let him go and move on.

8. A lot of men over 50 are pretty insecure when it comes to asking you out.

Having been rejected time and time again by so many women, they aren’t too quick about putting themselves back in a vulnerable position unless it feels safe to do so.

If you like a man, encourage him with eye contact, a warm smile, or a flirt online to let him know you’re interested.

Lisa has spoken and so have some of my girlfriends in regards to the winning formula of dating!

I recently spoke to one of my girlfriends who has been divorced for several years and this is what she told me.

“The pickings are very slim out there for us. I don’t even require or demand a lot from a man. I just want to find a devoted guy who has his self together with some morals of some sort. He doesn’t have to be perfect!”    

One would think at this stage in our lives at least she can find one of those attributes in a guy. I’m just saying…..     

Another girlfriend told me this with so much conviction.

“I raised all of my children and I’m not looking to raise a grown man or his children. Why should I always have to cater to his needs and stroke his ego. Life is too short to be dealing with an insecure man and baby mama issues on the other side of 50.”

I let her vent and she stated the guy that she was going out with periodically was a nice guy but she didn’t want to get too serious with him because her children are grown and out of the house and she didn’t want to start over with a man with school-age children. She also stated the following:

“You’re darn near 60 yeas old and you are still paying child support because your daughter is 10 years old from your previous relationship. I don’t think so!”  

Whew! That was a mouth full and I do understand where she is coming from, so yes when it comes to that Ladies you know your tolerance level. So do you!

Now The Question Becomes…Should I wait or settle?

I examined Lisa’s formula and it seemed straightforward enough if you want to put the work in Ladies; however, some of my girlfriends feel as though they are the ones making all of the exceptions to make the relationship work.  

My heart does go out to all of my beautiful, intelligent, independent women who have their stuff together and I know it can be disheartening from what you have to choose from; however, I encourage you to not settle for anyone that goes against the principles of what you based your standards upon.

Ladies, I am not saying have a checklist so long that the next man you date has to meet all of those requirements, what I am saying is this is your LIFE and it should be stress- free. 

Let’s look at the facts here for women in their 50’s.                

The 10 Things Men Should Know About Dating Women In Their Fifties

1. Our kids are grown
2. Some of us are grandmothers
3. We know who we are and what we want
4. We are drama free
5. We are not interested in pumping up your ego
6. We are very realistic to how relationships work
7. We don’t and will not hang on to your every word (anymore)
8. We are very independent
9. We are looking for companionship (if it leads to something more…that is great too)
10. We are looking to have an adult appropriate relationship with a grown man

Unfortunately, from the women with whom I had the pleasure of talking to regarding this article told me that from their experience there are few men who are looking to date women their same age. Those men are precious gems who value women with age and experience are just that – rare and hard to find!

The other masses of men out there find it quite compelling, thrilling, and exciting to date much younger women because they have no problem stroking their ego’s! 

Ladies, do you think men who date women half their age are insecure men?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-copeland/what-women-should-know-about-men_b_6295122.html

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