What Advice Would The Lady in the “Little Black Dress Give To Her Younger Self?

Hello Golden Divas!

Recently I stumbled across a memorable picture of my entrance into womanhood. This particular picture brought back so many memories it was taken 30 years ago and it captured the innocence and naughty side of me wearing “MY FIRST BLACK DRESS!”

I was so excited to wear a dress designed just for me to celebrate my special day, “MY 21st BIRTHDAY!” Oh, how precious and priceless this picture is and how it is truly worth a thousand words. The picture was speaking to me without saying a word.

So this got me to thinking I should do a post on the LBD (Little Black Dress) and have a conversation about what advice I can give to my younger self; especially since the LBD is a girl’s passage into womanhood in the fashion sense or at least in the household that I grew up in. 

You see my mother was a little strict and I appreciate her for that because we were not allowed to wear a black dress until we were legally grown because back then the little black dress represented sexiness, seduction, and temptation and Everlean was not having that before I turned 21. Although the LBD came with a lot of stigmas of grown folks stuff my desire to wear one was very different. 

My first black dress was made for my body only. Custom made to my specific body dimensions. My mother made this beautiful dress for me and it was tailored to fit me with the back out. I was showing some back skin in the dead of winter. I can proudly say I  was a size 6 and I thought I was simply gorgeous in it freezing my tail off. Now for this picture right here on the right, I’m double the size (size 12) and a lot of skin is showing in the front. LOL.

Golden Divas in my defense I thought since my birthday is (March 12) a week before spring what better way to bring it in by being classy and stylish, even if I got sick the following week. Now, ladies, you know you couldn’t tell me anything back then.

That’s the problem! I thought as most young people thought that I knew everything. After all, I am 21. On this particular day in my life, I was occupied with bliss and excitement, who cares if we had 5 inches of snow outside I was going out to celebrate my milestone birthday. So a bunch of my friends took me to the Drake Hotel downtown for dinner and dancing and what a great memorable time I had. 

As I continued to look at that picture, my mind was filled with numerous questions… 

“Where did the time go and what would my 51-year-old self-say to my 21-year-old self in that picture?”

I just turned 51 in this picture to the left. I had a great time with my family in Memphis…in my little black dress. 

Ladies, have you ever done that before? Have you ever wonder what were you thinking back then when you looked at yourself in an old photo? All I know is I would tell Baby Bren ….Whoa!!! Slow down Mz.Thang! You’re moving too fast. Listen more, talk less, and enjoy the season that you are in, there’s no rush to being grown. Enjoy life and continue to trust in God to “Order Your Steps!”

Heck, with the stigma (reputation) placed on the black dress I don’t even think I knew what really came with wearing an LBD at such a young age (remember times were totally different back then, we’re talking 1987) and the meaning of the LBD was changing. Sure that LBD might be your passage into womanhood via seductive clothing and sure you might think that the guy that is the object of your desire is admiring that dress because it was well made but sweetheart you will be wrong.

Let’s not get it twisted when a woman pulls the LBD out of the closet today she is on a mission to garner some attention. Good or bad!! We’re going to leave that right there. Lol. But on a serious note, I just wanted to feel classy and elegant.

The other advice I would give to the younger Brenda is to be more appreciative and value what others do for you; especially your mother. Remember the one that made that dress specifically for you and no one else. Yeah…I know you were a people pleaser and wanted your friends to like you…but did you have to let your girlfriend borrow that particular dress.

You remember the one who didn’t tell you that she was pregnant at the time who stretched the mess out of your dress and didn’t even get it laundered when she gave it back to you. Yeah, I know you learned a very priceless lesson from that friendship.

I also want to leave this with you, you are a child of God and fearfully made in His image, you look beautiful, in this picture and you will be wearing many black dresses to many events in the future. So wear it well and don’t let the dress define you, you better define the dress!

As we all know especially in our “Golden Year’s” clothing does not make the person and it surely does not define your true character; however, society has and always will brand us with a description of how we should dress….hence the “Little Black Dress.”  Whether good or bad the LBD has been a staple in a woman’s world of fashion. 

So What is the significance of the “Little Black dress?”

Aaah….let’s talk about it. The “NAUGHTY AND THE NICE” of the LBD. I know you have a few in your closet you know that special dress, the one with the sole purpose to seduce that guy. The one that is a little too tight, too short, or the one that hugs the curves that you never knew you had. Or the one that makes you feel so dang ole sexy the minute you put it on that is made for your body and your body only. Yeah, that one!

Now you know that was the naughty side of the LBD!!

The infamous LBD that launched a thousand fantasies gave you courage or simply made you feel unstoppable. Now, you have to love a dress that can give you that much power to make you feel that good.

One of my favorite fashion designers was and still is Coco Chanel. She is the epitome of class pearls and style to me. She coined the LBD back in the 1920s.  She actually made a woman look like a lady with her fashion sense; especially when it came to the “Little Black Dress” which she intended to be long-lasting, versatile, affordable, and accessible to the widest market possible. The LBD made us feel sexy, classy, and powerful.

…and this was the nice side of the LBD!!!

(It’s all in how you view yourself wearing the LBD and what message that you want to send out in the fashion world)

However, the EVOLUTION of the Little Black Dress came about when Audrey Hepburn put it on the map and made the garment famous in the movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s. This is when the “little black dress” became essential to a completing our wardrobe by many women and fashion observers, who believe it to be a “rule of fashion” that every woman should own a simple, elegant black dress that can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion.

Here are a couple of ways suggested to wear an LBD, (of course you know you can do whatever you want to do with your LBD) because this garment is meant to be a staple of the wardrobe for a number of years, the style of the little black dress ideally should be as simple as possible: a short black dress that is too clearly part of a trend would not qualify because it would soon appear dated.

1.Worn with a jacket and pumps for daytime business wear 

2. Worn with more ornate jewelry and accessories for evening or a formal event such as a wedding or a ball

Looking back at the younger me brought tears to my eyes, not because I’m older now and my physicality has changed, but how God has kept me through it all and decided to use me as a vessel to reach others.

I often ask myself what I can do to reach back and help my “Fellow Young Divas” as well as my “Golden Divas.” So I went to God in prayer and His response was to continue to share my journey by writing and talking about it so that people of both generations can resonate with my story.

As I continue to look at that particular picture and countless pictures of me wearing black dresses I smile at the thought that a simple black piece of clothing can empower a young girl into becoming an extraordinary woman. Something as modest as the little black dress is an allegory and a cautionary tale for many women because it represents so many things. 

So what does the “Little Black Dress” mean to you? 

Does it make you feel and look elegant?
Does it make you feel sexy and desired?
Is it a color of sadness and depression for you?
Is the LBD a fashionable and stylish part of your wardrobe?
Do you feel empowered when you have on the little black dress?

I watched my mother dress up in her black evening gown when I was a little girl and I watched stars on television dress up in evening gowns in a lot of movies. All I know is I wanted and had to have a black dress when I turned 21 years old. I wanted a dress that could speak for me when I knew I couldn’t. One thing I know for sure how you represent yourself on the outside reflects how you feel on the inside and the LBD made me feel really good inside and out. This iconic piece of clothing helped me to brace my own identity. The little black dress represented how I wanted to look in the future, how I wanted to present myself to the world, classy and elegant! 

Of course, there were many black dresses to follow and black clothing for different purposes such as weight gain later…hey, I have to keep it real cause black can help you lose 10 pounds without any exercise. Lol

Anyway, I digressed. A woman’s reputation and the influence that she has on other women should mean a lot to her, even in the fashion sense. One thing I know for sure when you don’t think anyone is paying you any attention you should remember and take heed that someone is always watching to see you succeed and to see you fail; which leads me to the following:

HATEFUL & THE GRATEFUL

Looking back over my years I would like to tell that young woman in the picture that NOT all women will be your friend and you will find this out the hard way. You will have your haters trying to tear you down as you try to climb the professional and social ladder of success in this world. You will have some women who claim to be your friend and talk about you to whomever they can discredit your name to and you will have some haters that simply hate you because they don’t like the way you look, dress or what you know.

But….as long as you have King Jesus you should always be grateful to one who made you. You see I asked God for a hedge of protection after all of the calamities in my life. Sure I was hurt by my so-call friends and I had my share of trials and tribulations but my 21-year-old self couldn’t see that God had me to go through the process of the pain and struggle for a higher purpose. I didn’t know how to be grateful back then.

Grateful that God is the God of many chances and that He forgave me countless times for turning away from Him. All I know is, after all, I have been through I have to put a praise on it and continue to glorify Him and continue to walk with Him. He is the “THE MOMENTUM MAKER” in my life, He just allows me to wear the little black dress that has and always will be a staple in my life while I am getting my point across to help others in their lives.

Golden Divas what is your story behind your first little black dress?

Talk To Me!