“10 Dating Mistakes 

To Avoid When You’re Over 50!’

Hello Golden Divas!

Summer will be here in a couple of days, and for those ladies who are not married and is considering stepping out on faith and getting their feet wet in the dating game again, what better season to do it in. Keep reading this post for  some great advice. 

For the 50-plus divas that are ready to test the waters, these datings “DON’TS” won’t sabotage your relationship before it starts.

Hmmmmm…I’m reading your minds, ladies…

• You might think you know more than enough about dating in this day and age
• You might have some unfounded reservations regarding dating altogether
• You might be having trouble finding love again
• You might be wondering whether it’s worth the hassle of trying to meet someone new 

Guess what you’re not alone on that last one.

Golden Divas I’ve been out of the game for 26 years, but I hear it is so worth it to get back out there and try it again. That is why I want to share these great tips with you today; especially if you have been out of the dating game for a while.  

Single Ladies where are you? I know you’re ready to mingle, you’re fit, fine and fabulous and ready to make that come back to get your summer fun on. After all, it’s only a date or is it? It may lead to something new, and lasting. Just remember to always follow your heart.

While dating can be tough, you have the power to get what you want—whether it’s a companion, a lover, a spouse, or something else.

But ladies first you need to figure out: Are you sabotaging your efforts at finding love in the dating pool?

Let’s weigh in on the most significant ways we self-sabotage our dates.

1. Don’t focus on your family

Of course, your grandchildren are essential, as is your daughter’s recent promotion. But a first date is a bit like a job interview, and you need to focus on getting to know your potential partner and making sure he gets to know you as a person, not as a mom or a grandma or a daughter or an ex-wife.

That means making sure that you engage in a meaningful conversation about lifestyle, values, experiences so you can see how compatible the two of you are.

2. Don’t treat him like your doctor

 Yes, as you get older, you no doubt have a few aches and pains or even some things that are more serious; maybe your recent surgery or a diagnosis of high blood pressure is foremost in your mind. But that’s where it should stay. Keep it out of that initial getting-to-know-you conversation. A first meeting should be an enjoyable chance to share discoveries and dreams, not your deepest and darkest challenges. You may feel the impulse, to be honest, and open, especially if you’re drawn to someone.

Divas don’t be more forthcoming than the situation calls for – and scare someone off who could handle this information eventually, but not at “hello. Please, divas, keep the diagnosis to yourself!

3. It’s a date, not a mortgage meeting

Money should never come up on a first date. Whether you have complaints about the raw deal you got in the divorce settlement or can brag about how you’re “fixed for life,” it’s best to keep those topics off limits. It’s just bad taste to bring up anything about money with someone you’ve just met.

You don’t need to warn your date that you are poor, and if you are well off, you don’t want to look like an insecure person who uses wealth as bait. Keep your bank account in the vault.

4. Your romantic past is just that – the past

You wouldn’t want your ex-sitting next to you on this date, so why bring him into the picture? Your date wants to be sure you can focus on him, and no one else. Revealing bitterness or anger about your ex is especially off-putting and can cast a toxic pall over the whole meeting.

Even if your ex-was a demon, keep it to yourself and show the warm, funny, gracious, interested and exciting part of your nature Golden Divas. 

 5.  Don’t flirt too much – or too little

OK, a date isn’t quite like a job interview. In a job interview, you wouldn’t try to engage the interviewer’s sexual imagination. But on a first date, that’s precisely what you have to do. I don’t mean showing cleavage. (You can do that later!) But a little show of attraction is essential. That little twinkle in your eye could make a date perk up.

At least at first, flirting should be subtle – holding eye contact, smiling, leaning in a little, speaking softly and brushing a hand ever so lightly. It’s not sexual teasing or double entendre. It’s more an exchange of looks, chemistry and letting the other person know you’re feeling something.

Yes, it makes you a little vulnerable, but nothing ventured, nothing gained ladies.  

6. Keeping people at arm’s length

Golden Divas I know you don’t want to look like an “old fool” in a dating relationship or you don’t want to play games and/or remain aloof by not getting too involved, This may make you feel safe, but ladies, you run the risk of coming across as unfeeling, uninterested, and detached.

Just keep telling yourself, people of all ages worry about looking foolish. “Being honest with your intentions, likes, dislikes, and what you are looking for in a relationship will never lead you astray.

7. Choosing a “type” and sticking with it            

The No. 1 mistake people over 50 make is continuing to go after their ‘so-called type.’ Divas “Ask yourself, ‘How has going after my type worked so far?  If the answer is ‘not so good,’ then start thinking outside the box.”

Try dating someone who seems like an interesting, kind, fun, successful human being. We are on the other side of 50, you know it’s the inside that counts. Stop worrying if he’s cute or how tall or short he is, and, by all means, stop saying he isn’t your type before you’ve even given him the chance to prove otherwise.

You might find out that when you let go of “Your Type,” you just might let love in.

8. Not dedicating enough time

Singles over 50 who are new to dating don’t always know how much time dating can involve. By middle age, you may already have a full social life, a job, and family demands, which means you may have to make some space for someone new. Try to balance your life and create “we time” with your potential mate at the end of the day, your kids will grow up and have separate lives—and so will their kids.

You both need to focus on your new relationship as something that could last for the rest of your life.

9. Interrogating your date

“How many children do you have?” “Do you own your own home?” “Are you on good terms with your ex?” If you find yourself conducting an interview the likes of which a police profiler would approve, take a step back. “These questions are not good for those in the early phases of dating.” Lawd Jesus Divas I know we know better than that.

Focus the questions on interests, likes, dislikes, and what they are looking for in a relationship. 

 10.  Comparison shopping

Ladies, over the course of your adult life, you’ve likely fallen in love with—or at least met —someone you consider to be the cream of the crop. But idealizing people in your past can cloud your present vision. It’s hard not to compare someone new with the person you might still be holding a torch for, if you have a side-by-side checklist, there’s no way someone new will make the cut.

It’s time to leave the baggage behind. Give your ex the boot and knock him off the false pedestal you have him on there’s a reason they are an ex! 

Okay, Divas I genuinely hope these (10) tips help. Now get back out there and enjoy dating again ladies without sabotaging the date.

Sources:

https://www.aarp.org/home-family/sex-intimacy/info-06-2012/first-date-mistakes-pepper-schwartz.html

https://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/dating-and-marriage-and-sex/how-to-date