Can I Still Get Pregnant?

This is a very common question with women going through perimenopause, whether or not they are able to still get pregnant. For some women who may still want to have a baby during this stage of their lives, menopause is something to look forward to, some women may want to add to their family and yet for others, the opposite can be said. Some women who are sexually active have no interest in conceiving a child during this stage in their lives. Whatever your attitude towards this transition in life might be, your chances of becoming pregnant are the same, and so it is important to be aware that pregnancy is still an option and contraception must still be a consideration.

Golden Divas we know the age of cessation of menses, or menopause, may vary from the mid-thirties to the late fifties. The perimenopausal period is defined as the several years preceding menopause when the symptoms first appear, and it likewise has great variation. The following discussion assumes that the average age to stop menses is 50-51 years old; with 45 to 50 years old being the perimenopausal time. However; every woman is different and there is a wide age range at which these changes may occur.

Say It Isn’t So….

How could this be? I’m going through menopause. How could this happen? My kids are grown. I need another baby like I need a hole in my head? I’m an empty nester. JESUS!!!

Can you imagine these 2 words?

YOU’RE PREGNANT!

You’re looking around the doctor’s office and the only person in there is YOU and you hear that mess. Over a year ago you were told by your OBYN “It’s official you are going through menopause.” You haven’t had a period in over 14 months. “So clearly you don’t have to worry about taking birth control anymore because you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant anymore.”

So You Thought!??

Okay, Ladies…casing point this may all sound like a NIGHTMARE and it might very well be one for some. But let the truth be told it can happen and it will if you don’t pay close attention to the changes in your body.    

I have a girlfriend that got pregnant by her husband at 54. She told me I can share her story so that no one else that is going through the change gets caught up in the Smokey Robinson and The Miracles ‘Ooo Baby Baby’ syndrome.

For the sake of this post, we will call her ‘Lila Rose’ who by the way was married for 25 years, she has two sons 26 and 23, they both are college graduates, living on their own making their mark in this world. This couple was official …

EMPTY NESTERS!

This husband and wife duo was ready to travel and see the world, these high school sweethearts have seen and done it all in their 2 decades of marriage. Until…their world got turned upside down with unsettling news. Those dreaded 2 words we spoke about earlier were told to her a few years ago.

Lila Rose and I both joked that if we ever heard those words we will jump out of the building and will be on the 5 o’clock news. Picture it…in the words of ‘Sophia’ from ‘The Golden Girls…’

Lila Rose, a 54-year-old mother going through menopause found out that she was 8 weeks pregnant, was temporarily insane when she chose to take her life and the life of her baby life by jumping out the 10th-floor window at her doctor’s office.

Okay, you get my point how insanity can creep in, but on the real and back to her story, she went to the doctor complaining about staying fatigued all of the time and gaining some extra weight. She chalked it up to menopausal weight and her new body adjustments. So, her doctor ran some tests did her blood work, and BAM those dreaded 2 words “YOU’RE PREGNANT” came out of his mouth.

“How am I going to tell my husband that I am pregnant? Heck, we have a trip to Italy planned in a couple of months all paid for, surely I am not canceling my life long trip. That’s all we’ve been waiting to do this year. This cannot be happening.  Somebody, please wake me up from this horrible NIGHTMARE!!!”

After going over all of the details with her doctor and getting all of the facts straight Lila Rose shared the new discovery that was haunting her and plaguing her to make a fast decision with her husband ‘Paul.’ This is his name for the sake of this post. Paul was in just as much shocked as Lila Rose couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

The aftershock gave him so much laughter that Lila Rose was starting to get offended.

“No baby, I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing so hard because I don’t want to start crying.”

You see Paul always wanted a girl and he knows there’s no guarantee that he will have a girl with this pregnancy but if God gave them another chance he wanted to take it. They were financially capable of taking care of another baby; however physically Lila Rose didn’t feel that she is fit to carry another baby to term at her present age. She didn’t want to be dubbed as the ‘Granny Mommy’ nor did she want another baby.

Now, can you imagine birthing a child at 55 years old? When they turn 10 years old you’ll be 65 and let’s not talk about the health risk of a menopause baby. Such as birth defects, miscarriages, and down syndrome. Good Lord it’s enough to break or make any marital relationship… and it DID!

Long story short this couple that has been together well over 30 years (remember high school sweethearts, fell in love, man, and wife) ended up…

DIVORCED!!

I know right?! A decision had to be made and it had to be made quickly. Due to religious beliefs, Paul did not want to abort their baby because he felt as though it was a blessing from God. Although Lila Rose felt that all children are a blessing from God, she wanted to repent and continue to move on with her life without raising another child.

Unfortunately, she moved on without Paul, he told her if she aborted their baby everything in their marriage would be a lie. Time was running out and without her husband’s consent or blessings, she opted to abort their child.

Lila Rose stressed to me the importance of getting regular checkups during this time because getting pregnant is much easier than ever before due to the many subtle hormonal changes that are going on during this perimenopausal transition before you actually stop your menses.

Ladies, the fact (good or bad) is that we will probably continue to ovulate occasionally, even if sporadically. And while many of the eggs may be nonviable, we will probably continue to release some good ones.

Anyway, back to Lila Rose and Paul they canceled their dream trip and the money that they received back was used for a good divorce lawyer. Paul who once said Lila Rose was the love of his life moved on after his divorce and remarried someone that was 36 and who was willing to give him another child. Lila Rose eventually made it to Italy after the dust settled on the divorce papers and is living her life to the fullest. Free and clear of conceiving another child.

So What Happened Here?

Life or the lack of life happened and not to say that will happen in your marriage but it is definitely an eye-opener of some sort and will make any couple wonder if their marriage is strong enough to weather the storms of ‘Ooo Baby Baby’ and menopause.  

So let’s talk about this … Can You Get Pregnant During Menopause?

ABSOLUTELY!

I’m not talking about Halle Berry and Janet Jackson having babies in their late 40’s and 50’s this not Hollywood. I’m talking about the real everyday women going through menopause not knowing that they are pregnant having Ooops… Babies! 

Of course, it is your prerogative to have a baby at any age if you so desire; especially if your village includes nannies, housekeepers, trainers, and dieticians to help you to get back into shape and raise your child.

Golden Diva’s we know as women age our hormone levels fall and menopause begins, ultimately resulting in our ovaries no longer producing eggs. However, some of us still believe that menopause happens overnight. The process can actually take years to complete (perimenopause to menopause to post-menopause). Until the process is complete, Golden Divas we can still get pregnant. So don’t sleep on this!!

The menopausal baby is something that is a reality. When the number of periods

declines, this does not mean the female body is not ovulating. Ovulation can occur without a period and pregnancy can occur well into the ’40s and ’50s like my friend Lila Rose. If we are experiencing menopause we will have to be free of a menstrual cycle for at least one year before we are officially postmenopausal and, even then, the chance of pregnancy, though rare, (but not zero!). That is why the doctors say 2 years before we should stop using contraceptives. Better safe than sorry!

Golden Diva’s check this information out according to BabyMed! 

Becoming Pregnant During Menopause – The Menopause Baby

When a woman goes through menopause, her body phases out menstrual cycles until they stop altogether, the woman may go for months or even a year between having one period and the next. This long time frame is at the heart of the undiscovered menopause baby.

During the time when the female body is not having a menstrual cycle, the body may still be releasing those last few eggs. If the egg is released and there is a viable sperm waiting to fertilize the egg, the female can, and will, get pregnant.

Thanks to the lack of a normal menstrual cycle, the female may not notice they are pregnant until they are months into the pregnancy. There have even been cases where mothers of climbing age have gone to the hospital with stomach and back pains only to leave the hospital a few days later with a baby in their arms.

Detecting the Menopause Baby

It is important as the female goes through the cycle of menopause to keep regular gynecological checkups. These checkups will allow the doctor to examine the female and possibly detect the rouge pregnancy before it is too late to begin prenatal care.

It is important to keep track of all your menstrual cycles well into menopause and take note of any changes occurring in the body. There are clear signs when pregnancy begins that will not be synonymous with menopause. These symptoms may include a total cessation of periods, an unexplained increase in weight, and swelling of the extremities. 

Preventing the Menopausal Pregnancy

Many women over the age of 40, feel they are not in need of contraception during sex due to perimenopause, or pre-menopausal symptoms. In fact, many women continue to ovulate well through their 40’s. Contraception is the only way to ensure you are not going to get pregnant when practicing intercourse. The contraception option most chosen by women who are of menopausal age is the tubal ligation.

During the tubal ligation, the woman has her fallopian tubes cut, burned, or clamped off to prevent further pregnancies. While the procedure must be completed by an obstetrician under general anesthesia, the recovery time is very short.

Unfortunately, my friend’s story did not have a happy ending to most but for them, they both got what they wanted in their golden years.

Golden Divas are you still practicing safe sex not to get pregnant?

Resources:

http://www.babymed.com/getting-pregnancy-during-menopause#

http://www.obgyn.net/ivf/doctor-can-i-still-get-pregnant

Janet Jackson picture compliments of People Magazine