Hello, Golden Divas!

We all know marriage takes a lot of work to make it blossom into something spectacular! A great marriage doesn’t happen overnight and as one of my favorite motivators says on her show (Iyanla Vanzant) “You Have To Put In The Work!”

“Making Marriage Work” is what we as couples supposed to do in order to fulfill God’s plan as well as one another plans. Our featured Golden Diva for the month of October is bringing in the Fall season by sharing how she keeps her marriage alive and well even with obstacles such as “menopause” and other factors that were trying to interrupt their marriage flow.

I had the pleasure of knowing this beautiful Diva since high school. She is someone whom I’ve admired as a woman and someone whom I have admired marriage from afar. Now today I get to admire her up close and personal as she shares her life after 50 while married. This young lady along with her husband Clyde exemplifies what marriage is all about and how prayer, communication, and respect made their marriage work and how those (3) elements made it ROCK!!!

Taking “The Marriage Covenant” seriously let me introduce to you, Monique Coleman. This beautiful soul is a wife, a mother of 2 and a gram to 3 little precious ones. She married her King (Clyde) 25 years ago and he is still her BOYFRIEND!!!

Monique is the youngest of 2 and she was born and raised on the southside of Chicago. This girl can COOK and she loves to entertain, travel and experience new things.   

In Conversation with Monique Coleman

C50: When prioritizing your life now that you are in your 50’s do your husband and family expect to still come first?

MC: My life is prioritized in this order: God, spouse, children, and parents. While sometimes decisions must be made to focus on one person over another, the goal is to not be neglecting any of your relationships. Being in a different state away from family I usually make time for those most important in my life.

C50: Have any mid-life stresses such as caring for an elder parent, empty nest syndrome, or career change affected your marriage?

MC: Yes, our move to Nashville took a toll on not our marriage but me personally. I became withdrawn and didn’t want to be bothered with anyone. It was then that the Lord revealed to me that “I ASKED FOR A CHANGE.“ The Lord reminded me that I wanted to have a new home built, as promised God granted me with the desire of my heart. The Lord also said your new home wouldn’t be in Texas. Praise God for favor!!!

C50: Has the changing hormone syndrome and other symptoms of menopause affected any areas in your marriage? If so what is the (1) thing that changed within your marriage when you turned 50?

MC: My husband and I turned 50 within 26 days of each other and I must say we are both enjoying our 50’s. We date more, travel more and love on each other as if we’re dating all over again.

C50: Do you feel that things have slowed down in your marriage? Or have they revved up in your marriage?

MC: No, our marriage hasn’t slowed down. It is “SPICIER” than ever. I recall a point in our marriage where it was all about our children and rarely did we make time for each other. We were so focused on making sure our children were actively involved. We are “JET SETTERS.” We are always finding some place or something new to experience.

C50: Why is it important to communicate the changes that you are going through physically and mentally during menopause to your husband?

MC: This was really a big deal and rough time for me. I needed my husband to understand it had nothing to do with me not wanting to be physical but my body going through changes.

C50: Do you feel that your husband has been supportive during your transition into menopause?

MC: In the beginning stages my husband didn’t understand and was not very supportive until I showed him the test results with my hormone levels not being up to par.

C50: Is it wrong to think selfishly when you are in the self-survival mode and may be in no mood to connect or make love to your husband?

MC: No, after a while my husband understood it wasn’t personal.

C50: Is your marriage still sexually active?

MC: Now that my hormone levels are where they should be our sex life is “Hotter” than ever.

C50: Is marriage in your fifties more challenging than it was in your 30’s and 40’s?

MC: I felt like my life in my 20’s and 30’s were most challenging. Raising children, working full-time and trying to give attention to our marriage, now that we are “EMPTY NESTERS” the saying “FABULOUS 50’s” is definitely true. There aren’t many challenging moments other than what’s for dinner LOL!!

Bonus Question

C50: What advice can you give to another woman in her fifties that is married?

MC: First and foremost, PRAY, RESPECT each other, NEVER go to bed angry, ALWAYS kiss your spouse before leaving home for the day, GIVE each other space when needed.

C50: There you have it Golden Divas! I would like to thank our October Golden Diva Mrs. Monique Coleman for being so transparent and sharing her truth of being married in her 50’s. Now Monique is truly living the “Golden Life!”