Marriage
The Second Time Around!
Hello Golden Divas!
My Golden Diva Interview topic this month is about “Marriage: The Second Time 
Around!” Marriage can be sweeter in your golden years if you create a positive vision which is a significant first step to making your second marriage a success! Some divas believe that marriage the second time around is better because you have a clearer vision of what you want from the relationship, you’re smarter about love, and you’ve learned the value of having realistic expectations about a spouse.
I want to welcome one of our newest ‘Golden Divas’ to Club Fifty. She just turned 50 on July 1st, and I have the pleasure of interviewing her for my blog and weighing in on her thoughts about her second marriage. I have known her for the past three years at my church, and she exemplifies beauty inside and out with her gentle spirit and her warm smile.
Life setbacks have NOT overthrown her to succumb to its trajectory but to thrive like a Phoenix rising from the ashes in her career as well as her personal life. This individual is a woman of God that has found her purpose and passion and is gladly utilizing her God-given skills to help children who are too young to help themselves. She also found love a second time in her golden years (officially she was seven months into her new marriage before she joined the 50s club). Nonetheless, I want to introduce to you this beautiful Golden Diva for the month of August my namesake and friend Brenda Marie Love!
Brenda Marie Love
Brenda is a mother of 4 (Reginald, Caitlin, and twins Sierra and Savannah) loves children and working with them. She has (2) grandchildren (Aiden and King). Brenda recalls having love and desire and working with children even before graduating from high school. After becoming a mother who eventually became a single one after 12 years of marriage, she had to support her children. She then began her career as a paralegal which allowed her to do so. However, in 2014, her career as a paralegal ended after being laid off twice due to a reduction in the workforce. Brenda told herself that after having been laid off twice and having to bounce back that it was not going to happen a third time. She vowed to herself to never return and also saw it as a sign that God was calling her to do something else. God blessed her to be able to finish raising her children without returning to the paralegal field and allowed her to do the things she enjoyed doing.
She is currently fulfilling her passion as a preschool teacher. Realizing that abuse and neglect alter the brain of a child even that of an infant, in May 2013, she was sworn in as a Case Volunteer for CASA of Cook County where she advocates on behalf of children who are too young to do it themselves. She has been an active member of New Faith Baptist Church International for 20 years. She became an ordained deacon in May 2017, under the leadership of Rev. Dr. Trunell D. Felder and Rev. Dr. Alexis L. Felder. Brenda believes that her zest and desire to help others comes from her faith and belief in God and being under strong and influential leaders. On December 2, 2017, Brenda married Norman Love after a very brief courtship. Brenda and Norman had been attending the same church for 20 years plus and had never laid eyes on each other. Then one day, God showed Norman Brenda, and the rest was history.
Thanks, Norman for making it good for my girl!
In Conversation with BRENDA MARIE JONES
C50: Did you ever see yourself marrying again in this stage of your life?
BML: I desired to be married again, I just had no idea when it would take place.
C50: What is better about marriage the second time around?
BML: Who I am, where I am, and the individual God chose for me.
C50: How did you meet your husband?
BML: We were introduced by a friend of his who happens to attend the same church we attend.
C50: Are you more confident this time around in your marriage?
BML: Absolutely! I am in a better place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
C50: Do you feel that authenticity and honesty come a little more naturally when you get older?
BML: Authenticity and honesty should not only come because you are older but because you have matured mentally and because you have married for a reason and especially a purpose. The two becoming one literally means they are you and you are them. I know sometimes the hardest thing to do is, to be honest with ourselves but when we do, things work as they should.
C50: Was there a lot of self-reflection and soul-searching when it came to remarrying for the second time?
BML: I would have to say the self- reflecting and soul-searching came before deciding to remarry. I had to be honest with myself about me, the good, the bad and especially the ugly we never want to discuss.
C50: How has marriage in your fifties vs. your first marriage changed you?
BML: Well, I have only been 50 for about a month now. But marriage this time came 
unexpectedly. There are no children there so there is peace and we concentrate on each other. It’s sweeter for sure.
C50: Do you believe with age and divorce comes great wisdom for your second marriage?
BML: Yes, you learn from your mistakes which makes you a better person.
C50: Did you have to blend families?
BML: We both have children, but they are all grown and gone. It’s just us!!
C50: What are the differences between the first marriage and the second marriage?
BML: I am whole and complete as an individual, much wiser. More equipped and I’m an empty nester.
C50: What were some of the things you looked for in a mate this time versus the first marriage?
BML: I can’t say I looked for anything because I didn’t. But my main qualification was that he must love God and be an active participant in ministry, not just a churchgoer. All the intricate details as far as looks, career, finances, children, I told God about, and HE delivered. I can say I TRULY trusted God on this one THIS TIME! HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT ME. He gave me more than I asked for.
Bonus Question
C50: What advice can you give a woman thinking about remarrying in her golden years?
BML: Know what you want, be honest and realistic. Make your request known to God. Involve God in your process. Prepare yourself, expect the unexpected, and wait. Remember that any request that you give to God, although at times it may seem as though it has been delayed, but it does not mean it has been denied. Most importantly, be anxious for nothing.
Philippians 4:6
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known unto God.
C50: There you have it Golden Divas some great advice from my namesake Brenda on Marriage: The Second Time Around!