Custodial Grandparents

The Invisible Caregivers!

Hello Golden Divas!

The other day I was talking to a friend about how many grandparents are raising their grandkids and how some of their children are taking advantage of the fact they can leave their children with their parents and go hang out and kick it with their friends.

Now, I’m not here to judge anyone if you want to raise your grandkids, by all means, do so, but I know my Mom didn’t tolerate such behavior. She told us the following if we chose to have children.

 

“I raised my kids, so don’t expect me to raise yours!”

She wasn’t playing and although, I never gave birth to a child I had to respect what she said regarding starting a family. However, I truly believed if a Lil Ricaria or Brent (those were my babies chosen names) came along she would have spoiled them to death and sent them back home. LOL.

As you may know in the African-American community, the family unit is the thread that binds the family structure together when it comes to raising a village. In Isabel Wilkerson’s 2010 Pulitzer Prize-winning book, “The Warmth of Other Suns,” she documents the great migration of African-Americans from the South to other regions of the United States between World War I and the 1970s. During this time of transition and relocation grandparents along with other relatives served as substitute parents as families resettled and secured employment in a care-sharing tradition.

However, not knowing the circumstances behind the grandparental care in today’s society got me thinking about how many grandparents are raising their grandkids and why?  

Golden Divas did you know within the last 30 years; there has been a significant increase in the number of grandparent-headed families. Approximately 2.6 million grandparents are raising 4.7 million children according to the Census data in the United States.

I know right?! That is an alarming number so, let those numbers sink in, and let’s have a conversation about grandparents raising their grandchildren; now don’t get me wrong everyone has a right to do what they feel is best when it comes to their family.

Nonetheless, the role of grandparents has shifted from watching their grandchildren during the day while parents work, or having them over for the weekend or helping them with their homework.  Grandparents are now Custodial Grandparents?

So what is a Custodial Grandparent?

Custodial grand-parenting occurs when a grandparent assumes responsibility for raising one or more of their grandchildren because the grandchild’s parents cannot or choose not to care for the child. This is known as the growing group of ‘invisible caregivers.’ 

Golden Divas things have changed over recent decades regarding the experience and reasons for raising grandchildren. Since the mid-1990s, several social conditions have caused the number of grandparents who are raising their grandchildren to increase.

Now, this is not a new phenomenon; however, it is a changing one!

More children are living with their grandparents than ever before in contemporary society. This phenomenon leads to a complex set of issues and outcomes for grandparents and the children for whom they care.

Here are some common reasons for custodial grand-parenting include the following:

• Substance abuse
• Neglect
• Incarceration
• HIV/AIDS
• Mental or physical illness
• Teenage pregnancy
• Abandonment
• Divorce
• Death
• Economic Factors
• Military

All of these factors that have contributed to a rise in the number of custodial grandparents are disheartening. A recent Pew Trust report documents how The current opioid epidemic is contributing to this trend according to a recent Pew Trust report.  The CDC, drug overdose deaths in the United States have more than tripled from 1999 to 2015, and often leave children parentless.

Grand-parenting is so prevalent, and this form of kinship care has its name now. It’s called the grand family, a newly minted moniker born of necessity and created by a tragic crisis in this country substance abuse and opioid addiction.

Although grandparent-headed families are incredibly diverse, they are more likely to be African-American, and female-headed. It’s also worth noting that 67 percent are younger than age 60, and 25 percent live in poverty even though about half of custodial grandparents are in the labor force.

What Are The Challenges?

Children:

• Because of their experiences with their parents, children being raised in grandparent-headed families often display developmental, physical, behavioral, academic, and emotional problems. Some of these problems include depression, anxiety, ADHD, health problems, learning disabilities, poor school performance, and aggression.
• Grandchildren may also experience feelings of anger, rejection, and guilt. The degree to which grandchildren experience problems varies, although many grandchildren experience multiple problems.
• Relationships among family members can also create stress for grandchildren. Visits from parents can be upsetting, and often leave grandchildren feeling hurt and confused. Due to their age difference, grandchildren may also feel disconnected from their grandparent caregivers. Finally, household rules and expectations can be a source of tension and conflict.

Grandparent Caregivers:

• Becoming the caregiver for a grandchild impact all aspects of a person’s life. As a result, grandparents raising grandchildren face many challenges.
• Grandparents often have legal difficulties related to obtaining guardianship, enrolling their grandchildren in school, and accessing medical care for their grandchildren. They may also have concerns related to custody battles with other grandparents or their grandchildren’s parents.
• Because they often have limited financial resources, grandparents may experience difficulty in providing adequate housing, food, and clothing.
• Parenting may be challenging for custodial grandparents, especially when their grandchildren have problems. To be effective parents, grandparents need current information about discipline, child development, and childhood problems.
• Grandparents also need to transition from the role of the traditional grandparent to that of the parent.
• Grandparents raising grandchildren often have less time for themselves. They may also have less time to spend with their partners and friends. This loss of time can be stressful and can cause feelings of anger, grief, and loss.
• It can be difficult for grandparent caregivers to manage their grandchildren’s parents. Parents may make unannounced visits and unrealistic promises. Grandparents may also struggle with trying to protect their grandchildren, while still allowing them to visit with their parents. Additionally, it may be disappointing for grandparents to see their child fail as a parent.
• Grandparents may feel anger at their grandchildren’s parents, guilt about their parenting, or embarrassment about their family situation.

How caregiving affects health

Unfortunately, Divas in addition to dealing with the challenging dynamics of child care, many of these grandparents are starting to experience their age-related changes in health and functioning.

Compared with none caregiving peers, grandparents who are raising their grandchildren have more extensive health problems. When there are limited resources – whether financial, time or energy – grandparents prioritize their grandchildren over themselves.

This situation can lead to the following:

• Undiagnosed health problems
• Untreated chronic diseases
• Undesirable health practices such as poor nutrition and lack of exercise and energy
• Depression
• Anxiety from the stress of childcare

Grandparents and policy

From a policy perspective, grandparents provide the safety net for children who might have otherwise entered the foster care system. Nationally, it is estimated that grandparents and other kinship care providers save the government more than US$6 billion annually.

But in caring for these children, grandparents pay a high price, especially those who are raising the children alone.

What Can Be done To Support These Grandparents?

Because of the increased recognition of both the prevalence and urgent needs of grandparents raising grandchildren, many communities have created grandparent support groups and programs.

• Kinship Navigator: Programs that help identify and access much-needed public and private resources.
• Project Healthy Grandparents at Georgia State University: Offers support and health interventions to help grandparents remain healthy and effective care providers. Support includes home visits, early intervention services for children with developmental disabilities (which are often related to prenatal substance abuse exposure) and support groups, and parenting classes.
• Grand housing: Provides apartments specifically for grandparent-headed families.

Grandparents Day is More Than a Day!

For many, Grandparents Day (September 10^th) is celebrated one time per year to receive loving cards, calls, and emails from their grandchildren, but for about five million children, being with grandparents is a daily fact.

Grandparents Day is a fitting moment to take a closer look at the social contribution grandparents are making and the impact of unexpected caregiving – often in later stages of life.

It is also a noticeable time Golden Divas for these families to be recognized more formally by policymakers and service providers. Without more extensive official responses, grandparents may receive little or no support until they experience a physical or mental health crisis.

And yet, these grandparents struggle financially—and, often, silently. They struggle with their health concerns, their physical limitations, as they dip into retirement funds to ensure that their grandchildren are raised right. Some grandparents may not even know that resources and support are available to them.

Golden Divas the circumstances surrounding your grandchildren’s well-being have changed from the traditional to the unconventional; whether you’re an alternative grandmother or a customary grandparent, I applaud you for stepping in, holding it down, and never faltering on doing the absolute very best for your grandchild!

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evidence-based-living/201709/when-grandparents-raise-their-grandchildren

https://www.aamft.org/Consumer_Updates/Grandparents_Raising_Grandchildren.aspx

https://theconversation.com/why-more-grandparents-are-raising-their-grandchildren-83543