13 Things Mature Women Want in a Relationship

THE REALITY NOT THE FANTASY!!

Happy Wednesday Golden Divas!

Ladies as most of you know I co-host a radio show called ‘Let’s Stay Together Talk’ every Tuesday from 6:30 pm- 8:30 pm with my husband at www.soarradio.com or listen to us on Facebook on our Let’s Stay Together Talk page. Last night one of our topics was ‘What Women Want In a Relationship,’ stemming from what men wanted in a relationship last week. I thought this topic was befitting and engaging that I decided to share it with you ladies as a code of ethics while seeking to date or if you are married to make sure these qualities are instilled in your relationship.

When when we are younger, we were primarily interested in finding someone who is attractive, (sometimes that was first on our list) who can support us and who will treat us like a queen. Then, we wised up and found out life is not always as we dreamed as little girls. Sometimes the relationship didn’t last because the men were dumb as a doorknob with no substance of being in a relationship. So what did we do, we tried to mold them into what we thought we wanted and when that didn’t work we started dating again. 

I mean why shouldn’t we? At least we knew how to be in a relationship. We were committed, confident, and knew how to handle the pitfalls of a relationship. By 30 we had a few hiccups that we dealt with in relationships and learned what we would and would not tolerate from a man. It’s important to know the qualities to look for in a man and when we become older we won’t settle for the nonsense as we did during our 20s.

Now Golden Divas, everyone has experienced breakups and mishaps, but mid-life is a time to live again and to find true companionship without the drama. NO DRAMA PLEASE!  So if you’re out there dating again her is a reminder checklist.

What a Mature Woman Wants In A Relationship.

1. We Want Honesty.

The popular dating site Zoosk looked through 2,645,930 profiles and 234,688,001 messages to see what women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s were looking for in a mate. The top contender for women was a man who was honest. “Unlike men, however, every age-group of women mentioned honestly more often than any other trait when describing what they’re looking for.” Women want men to be emotionally honest with them. A mature woman knows that in a relationship there needs to be honesty. It’s not worth playing games with someone who twists the truth. A woman who has been down this road before will not bargain with childish behavior such as dishonesty. 

2. We pick our battles.

An older woman will know what battles to pursue and which ones to let go of during a dispute. She knows to not react immediately, to choose the right time to talk, and to not yell. A mature gal also knows how to evaluate the consequences of getting into an argument. She may ask herself: “Will I care about this tomorrow?” to gauge the conversation first before addressing concerns. Foolish conversations will lead nowhere, and a mature woman wants her man to take the same attitude in this area

. “Address the situation as soon as you see an issue arise. Some arguments are simply a difference in perspective, abcnews.go.com reported. A mature woman is not perfect, but she wants to pick her battles for the safety of the relationship.”

3. We don’t play games, we want to love.

Who has time to play games? When we are younger, we played mind games and it took up a lot of time and it leads to heartbreak. If you’re a man who is attracted to drama, a mature woman is not for you. According to Zoosk, women of all ages are interested in finding a loving partner. “Loving is the 13th most popular character for women in their 30s, the 11th for women in their 40s and 9th for women over 50.” Older women don’t have time to waste on men who don’t want a commitment. She knows what she wants, is self-assured, and will not be involved in a relationship with someone who is not ready to put in the work or someone who plays emotional games.

4. We keep our girlfriends.

When we’re younger we sacrifice good friends for the sake of a relationship. And those relationships are forever lost due to people drifting apart. Since we can’t go back in time to restore the friendships we had, a woman now knows that she will never risk a bond like that again. In our 20s, our girlfriends are like soulmates and we feel like we’re kindred spirits. But the truth is when a serious relationship with a guy comes into play the bond seems to break because there’s a lack of investment in the friendship. It’s important that you always remember that your friends were there before you met someone. Spending time with them will always be important and now that we’re older, we need to find a balance with our friendships and in our love life.

5. We don’t care about money.

A mature woman doesn’t care if you have a lot of money, but she won’t give up her independence either. A mature woman will enter the relationship with financial confidence and needs a man who will not be intimidated by this. At this time in life, she wants a man for companionship, and money is secondary. She wants someone who is thoughtful. It not about the gifts, it about remembering their favorite food or doing acts of kindness. Not everyone marries a person who is thoughtful and this is important to her and she knows it’s a two-way street. She knows that the man she’s with needs to be treated with respect and kindness. This includes compliments, offering encouragement, sending notes and text messages to connect through the day. Money can’t buy you this kind of emotional support.

6. We take “I love you” seriously.

A mature woman knows the value of saying “I love you.” When we were younger we tossed those words around like candy to get what we craved or to push ourselves into feeling love for someone that was never there. When she says that she loves you, she means it and it’s special, not a tease. There will be no doubt in the guy’s mind that this woman loves him with a pure heart.

7. We Want To Feel Loved

When we feel loved, we relax and open up to our men. The arguments dissipate, the sex is abundant, and their nurturing feminine energy flows throughout our lives.

Not feeling loved is the subtext of every argument that you and your partner have.

If we are unhappy that you are going out with your friends, or we’re upset about our day at work, or if we are only responding to you with brief snippets of sentences, then the cause is most likely we are not feeling loved enough.

Men learn to see through our words, actions, and moods and see what the real root of it is. 

8. We Want To Feel Safe

There is a war being waged on women’s self-esteem, sexuality, and safety from a very young age.

Because of the barrage of disempowering messages being sent to us regarding our sexuality, we need to have a safe space where we feel that we can trust our partners.

We want to trust your strength. We want to feel like you can handle whatever we show you.

We want to feel like you will not judge us if we ask for something risqué. We want to know you won’t collapse in defeat if we tell you to do it “This way” instead.

By creating a safe space for us women to open up to you emotionally and sexually, we will be giving you a very powerful gift- and allow you to grow within our relationship and undo old emotional damage.

9. We Want To Feel Seen

We want to feel seen.

We want to feel you hearing us and being aware of our emotional state.

We don’t necessarily want you to be affected by our emotional state, but we do want you to be a witness to it.

If we’re sitting across the room from you and you aren’t picking up on the fact that we are suffering emotionally and on the verge of tears, we will begin to trust you less. We will think, “If he can’t see that I am hurting now, how long will it take him to figure it out? Will I be suffering for days or weeks before he is aware of it or cares enough to help me through this? I guess I have to rely on myself for my own emotional support.”

Life can seem extremely lonely, even within a relationship. You have to constantly show us that at least you will be a witness to us and our journey through life. (Hint: that person is you.) 

10. We Want To Be Allowed To Be Nurturing

Just as masculine energy has the need to protect, feminine energy has the desire to nurture.

Women want to see the cracks in men’s armor. We want to see that you trust us enough to open up to us. We want to be able to help you through your sadness.

An integrated, evolved man who has balanced masculine energy, as well as his own sliver of the feminine, would welcome his woman’s nurturing.

If you are a guy reading this, have you ever held open a door for a woman because it’s the polite thing to do (but more just because she’s a person and it wasn’t even a gender-based act) and she chews your ear off for it? “Oh what? I can’t open the door for myself because I’m a woman?! You sexist pig!”

That is an example of a wounded, unbalanced woman who doesn’t want to accept help from a masculine source. This is exactly how it feels to your partner when you push her away when you feel the most vulnerable. “I don’t need to lay my head down on your chest and tell you about my feelings because I don’t have any!” That is a lie. It’s a lie that serves your purpose of not letting your partner in. This lack of vulnerability and authenticity is what is making you and your partner suffer.

So let us in. We want to love you.

11. We Want To Feel Sexually Desired

What’s a major difference between your relationship with your partner and your relationship with everyone else in your life? You have sex with your partner.

We need to feel sexually desired. We want to make sure that you see and appreciate us as feminine, sexual beings.

Praise our bodies. Feel us and grab us appreciatively. Remind us that you see us as a sexual being and we both benefit. 

12. To Be Appreciated

The feminine in all people responds primarily to praise and appreciation.

Remind us that you love us. Tell us that you appreciate what we bring to your life. Show us how much we mean to you.

The fastest way to run our relationship into the ground is by ignoring us and taking us for granted. Appreciation is the opposite of those things. Appreciation is embodying this mindset: “I am aware of what you bring to my life, and I want you to be sure that I am aware of it as well.”

So tell us what you appreciate, and tell us often.

13. We Want To Feel Like We Can Count On You

Life gets pretty messy sometimes.

When life’s unavoidable difficulties arise, do you fall apart under pressure or are you able to bend and not break?

Women want to know that men can handle themselves when life happens. We want to know that you won’t run and hide when we get a bit ‘too emotional’ for your liking. We want to know that we can count on you.

When you tell us you’ll do something, and then you don’t do it, it hurts us. We lose a piece of trust in you that has to be earned back. Even seemingly small things break that trust like you saying that you will wash the dishes shortly after dinner, but washing them the next morning instead.

When enough small transgressions like this are sprinkled throughout our relationship, we will distrust you.

Do what you say you will do, be who you say you are, and be consistent in your actions.

“Finding balance, love, and commitment is part of a mature woman’s mantra. We expect to findthe same in our love relationships. We been through the ropes and are certainly done with the mindless games we experienced in the past. Are we perfect? No way. Still, we are honest enough to know what we want in a man and how we want to live our life.”

Golden Divas what do you want in a relationship?  

Source:
Read more at https://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/relationships/what-mature-women-want-in-a-relationship.aspx#fdz4Gw9DZ8bfJ4t1.99